Here is this Thing that happens
And it doesn't seem to actually matter, if I participate in the clusterfuck, or close the browser and walk away in disgust, sometimes all it requires is someone to just ~mention my name~ and there will be a clusterfuck, whether I participate or ignore it or what.
And here's what happens: I stop doing Things.
This makes me pretty unhappy, because generally I enjoy doing Things, but I really really do not enjoy being the centre or subject of clusterfucks. Because clusterfucks are really pretty unfun for everyone except The Pig. And when the cluster is well and truly fucked, who takes the blame, and the negativity, and the accusations of "OMG, you are always so all about the ~drama~!!!" Is it the people who cluster and complain and concern troll? No, it is not. It is me.
And the thing that makes it worse, and even more annoying is those other people, who somehow manage to do exactly the same Thing, without incident, then turn around and go "what is your problem? Why can't you just do a little Thing without all this fucking Drama?" Because guess what, *their* experience of doing Things is completely fucking drama-free.
And if I try to explain, they turn around and say "OMG, why is it you always think that everything is all about YOU?" I don't know, why don't you go and ask the people back in paragraph one who make that Thing not about the Thing, but all about me?
That is just the irritating icing on the goddamn clusterfuckcake. I am pretty much the only person on ILX who gets slagged off if they are involved with a clusterfuck, and then gets slagged off for refusing to *start* a thing that I fear might become a clusterfuck. I'm fucked if I do, I'm fucked if I don't.