What It's Like To Be Autistic

 This is an amalgamation of at least 3 different situations over the past few years:

Me (a gardener who planted seedlings the previous afternoon, waking up on Sunday morning, relieved to see the ground wet from overnight rain so I don't have to go back and water again): Ah, thank god it rained overnight! I'm so glad!

"Friend": WTF?!?! 

Some time passes.

Friend of "Friend": OMG how could you say something so homophobic!!!

Me: What?

FoF: About Bill and Ben's wedding! How could you be so horrible?!?!

Me: Huh? Ben got married? I haven't seen Ben much since he moved to Walthamstow

FoF: You just said that you were glad his wedding got rained off at the weekend!!!

Me: His wedding? I wasn't even invited.

FoF: Bill and Ben's wedding was in a country garden on Saturday night! It was rained off! 

Me: ?!?!! 

FoF: The marquee was struck by lightning!

Me: ?!??!!!???

FoF: and you're out here making these awful homophobic comments that you're GLAD his WEDDING was RAINED OFF!!!

Me: Homophobic comments? What are you talking about? I'm queer myself!

FoF: (shows a screengrab someone has taken of my comment saying 'Ah thank god it rained overnight! I'm so glad!')

Me: you mean my comment about the SEEDLINGS in the COMMUNITY GARDEN that I planted on SATURDAY AFTERNOON and I was RELIEVED I did not have to go back and WATER THEM the next day?!?

FoF: now you're gaslighting me, you homophobe! 

...

The panopticon turns everyone into cops. People appoint themselves judge, jury and executioner without ever pausing to consider - my context is not the same as your context. I see things you do not see; you see things I do not see. It's fine not to know. But not to stop and ask before leaping to conclusions? Cop behaviour.

Kill the cop in your own head.