It Doesn't Matter What I Write
No one reads this anyway. I'm going through a big attack of the "everyone takes me for granted, no one appreciates me, wah wah, I'm going to eat some worms!" right now.
Back on the meds which means that the worst of the OH NO EVERYTHING IS GOING TO GO HORRIBLY WRONG crushing overwhelming sense of awfulness has abated. I suppose it just shows how addicted I am to these things that they work so quickly - probably as much psychological effect as physical neurochemistry.
Speaking of neurochemistry, I've got the best book for holiday reading. (I've got five days off, of which nearly four will be spent in the country, even though the festival is only two days.) Shadows of the Mind by Roger Penrose* - the sequel to the Emperor's New Mind, a book which totally bent my brain with regards to consciousness. I love the self reflexivity of reading books about the science of consciousness and mind, because it's investigating the very thing that you are using to investigate/read, like a moibus strip of logic.
Anyway, this one promises to get beyond simple neurochemistry into the very subatomic particle physics quantum nature of consciousness! All those ten dimensional reactions going on IN MY HEAD!!! OK, yes, I know my entire body is made of atoms comprised of 10-dimensional superstrings, but somehow when reading books about theoretical physics it always seems to be about atoms which are undergoing extreme conditions in the sun or in supermassive colliders - not the actual particle-waves that are in my head, firing little synapses and causing my fingers to type this very sentance. ALL THIS IS HAPPENING IN TEN DIMENSIONS.
This idea makes me indescribably happy. Or maybe that's the meds. I never can tell.
*Yes, he of the "universe from first principles" tome of joy for engineers.
Back on the meds which means that the worst of the OH NO EVERYTHING IS GOING TO GO HORRIBLY WRONG crushing overwhelming sense of awfulness has abated. I suppose it just shows how addicted I am to these things that they work so quickly - probably as much psychological effect as physical neurochemistry.
Speaking of neurochemistry, I've got the best book for holiday reading. (I've got five days off, of which nearly four will be spent in the country, even though the festival is only two days.) Shadows of the Mind by Roger Penrose* - the sequel to the Emperor's New Mind, a book which totally bent my brain with regards to consciousness. I love the self reflexivity of reading books about the science of consciousness and mind, because it's investigating the very thing that you are using to investigate/read, like a moibus strip of logic.
Anyway, this one promises to get beyond simple neurochemistry into the very subatomic particle physics quantum nature of consciousness! All those ten dimensional reactions going on IN MY HEAD!!! OK, yes, I know my entire body is made of atoms comprised of 10-dimensional superstrings, but somehow when reading books about theoretical physics it always seems to be about atoms which are undergoing extreme conditions in the sun or in supermassive colliders - not the actual particle-waves that are in my head, firing little synapses and causing my fingers to type this very sentance. ALL THIS IS HAPPENING IN TEN DIMENSIONS.
This idea makes me indescribably happy. Or maybe that's the meds. I never can tell.
*Yes, he of the "universe from first principles" tome of joy for engineers.
posted by Masonic Boom | 10:33 am
4 Comments:
Don't worry. Everything isn't going to go wrong. It's going to be fine. I understand the non-meds panic, but you'll get 'em and you'll be OK. OK?
Oops, I thought I was replying to the previous post! Glad you got the meds, anyway. All will be well.
I read some more about them and it turns out they are often prescribed as "anti-anxiety" drugs.
Which, in pharmotalk, means that if you stop taking them, your withdrawl symptoms will be TERRIBLE ANXIETY, like I've been experiencing. Bah.
It's weird, in a way, I hate that they work. It makes me feel weak. When really I should be able to re-tune my own synapses to resonate in the correct dimension for functionality.
Oh, I know that feeling. But I don't care any more. I just remember what life was like back in late 2004 when I was literally (LITERALLY) terrified of everything and I think, 'Know what? Think I'll take the meds...'
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