Boots of Sex
So I looked at the brown suede buckle boots in Clarks, and they weren't all that close up. So I walked to Jones Bootmaker on High Holborn. They were SOLD OUT (!!!!) of the brown chelsea boots in my size. But, on a whim (I REFUSE to leave this shop without boots!!!) I tried on a few knee-high riding boots, even though the bloody things *never* fit my fat calves.
And yet these...
...actually have enough give, in the laces, that I could not only get them on, but zip them up, fat calves and all.
I've been wandering about the office in them, slapping a ruler like a riding crop, and threatening people in a poor German accent if they muck with my data. I think I feel a lot better as a Nazi Dominatrix.