You Feel Hope As Much As You Feel Hopelessness

I cannot get the School of Seven Bells CD that Benjamin gave me yesterday out of my computer.

Although My Cabal is still my favourite, For Kalaja Mari (I think that's how it's spelled, his handwriting is kinda swhirly there) makes me weep, with tears of joy and relief, and the sense that *someone* out there knows how it feels to be lost in a black depression, and knows exactly the right things to say (or rather, sing, in Alley Deheza's rich, silken purr) to pull you out.

When I'm sad, when I'm low, I just want someone to ring me and play this song down the line at me, like a telegram from heaven. The smooth, steady drone, and then the way a chorus of angel voices explode and intertwine and weave a blanket from the lines "You don't have to be depressed..." (I wish I could remember the rest, but I'm in a web cafe right now, will repost them next week.)

The blackness, the despair that lowers over your life like a blind - beauty is the answer. And this CD is beauty in its purest form.

I feel almost disloyal, but I love this record more than TSM. It's somehow gentler, not so emotionally bleak or musically relentless. Or maybe I'm just sexist and prefer female vocalists. But honestly, there is something about the yin and yang intertwine of partnerships between male and female that makes music ultimately more satisfying and complete and fulfilling to me.

Anyway, uh, yeah. Benjamin is an absolute sweetheart, BTW. Sometimes meeting your idols doesn't have to be traumatic, but can be an uplifting and inspiring experience. Can't say the same thing for his brother, though, who is the kind of bloke who treads on your feet then gets the humpty and glares at you for pointing out that your toes DARE to be under his divine shoes. But Benjamin... swoon. A gentleman, and a lovely human being. And was so kind as to write a whole bunch of guitar pedal advice in my diary. He actually took the time to explain the sonic difference between a Wah and a Low-Pass Filter and why I needed the latter. I will treasure this more than any autograph...