All Is Flux

Do I resist change? I don't know. I do rather fear it. Because I've been through an incredible amount of change in my life that was totally out of my control. I suppose it's made me a bit obsessive compulsive about ritual and control.

But change doesn't have to always be bad. Change is flux, change is growth. Nothing new gets created without something old being either destroyed or changed.

So, first rehearsal with Shimuras, Mark 3 last night. Anna has resigned - really the only workable way out of The Situation. And AMP's sister Lisa has stepped in. It's not a question of trying to fill someone else's shoes. (I mean, who could fill Anna's shoes? they were ridiculously tiny and ridiculously high heeled.) It's more a question of finding the new person's strengths, and fitting them into the music.

When Marianna joined, I was a bit scared - because her voice is *nothing* like Frances' - Frances is soprano while Marianna has a lovely, rich contralto. We had to rewrite a lot of harmonies, stack the voices in a different order. But it really worked, and now I can't imagine our songs without Marianna as the anchor at the bass of the scale. And I'm sure that Lisa will work in the same way. Her voice and AMP's voice just blend so beautifully, in the way that only sisters really can harmonise.

I miss Anna. There, I said it. It's weird, rehearsing without her, without her incessant jokes and giggle fits defusing the tension. But then, that makes me sad, realising that things aren't the same - and they can't be.

We're working on new songs, though, which is exciting, and the *fun* bit, to me. It's easier breaking in a new girl on new songs, because then she can work out her own part. Getting back to business, booking gigs, making plans and all that. Back to the future, then.